Now We Are Six

When I was one,
I had just begun.

When I was two,
I was nearly new.

When I was three,
I was hardly me.

When I was four,
I was not much more.

When I was five,
I was just alive.

 But now I am six,

I am clever as clever.
So I think I'll be six
Now and forever.

Poem by A.A. Milne

Woo hoo!

I don't think that I have ever been more proud. Well, of somebody who didn't actually grow inside my uterus. Because, let's face it, I've been pretty proud of things my kids have done..walked, pooped in the potty, learned to read, etc, etc.

But this? I don't even have to be proud of this one. We're not blood kin.

That's my manfriend getting his degree. Isn't he sexy? My kids didn't recognize him because he took his glasses off.
Seriously? That's all it takes to fool you? I'm cutting my hair or something so I can hide.

But this feels amazing.

This dude was the keynote speaker. He's a Packer. I don't remember which one. He gave a speech
that emphasized the 3 Ps of something. It made my middlest need to go pee right in the middle
of said speech. So I left my oldest with a stranger and did the ol' butt in your face dance down the row to take
him to the potty.

It was me and my three kids in the auditorium for three hours. Not gonna lie. I wanted to walk out, but nothing was
going to keep me from seeing my manfriend walk across that stage. There was blood, sweat, and tears. And a
lot of crackers. But we made it through.

It took two and a half years, all of our savings, and all of my patience and understanding. There were times when the kids and I went days without seeing him as he rotated between his (unpaid) internship, classes, part-time job, side jobs, and his position as a volunteer firefighter.

There were times when I was so frustrated and angry with him for being gone, and felt like we couldn't go another day.

He's the one with the glasses. He apparently didn't get the memo about wearing his helmet.

But we just kept going on. Sometimes the mortgage was late. Some bills went unpaid. We ate a lot of pasta and a lot of beans. We did without. We borrowed a lot that we will probably spend the rest of our lives paying back. We gambled on our future. And I can honestly say that it's been a struggle every. single. day. of the last two and a half years.

So proud of that man.

But now we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And, boy, is it bright.

To my Neice on her Sixteenth Birthday

I'd like to give you the world, or a car, or a smooth hundred dollar bill, but most of all, I would like to give you the ability to see clearly.

I want you to see how incredibly amazing you are. You are unique of spirit and heart. You are filled with grace and drive in a way that is uncommon among adults, let alone girls becoming women.

I want you to look in the mirror and see clearly what a beautiful creature you are. You are an individual with style and taste and there is no reason to look like the other girls when how YOU look is perfect. I want you to like what you see. I want you to LOVE what you see. I want you to see what I see...

I'd love to be able to give you the ability to see clearly the obstacles in your path so that you may make the wisest choices and avoid unforeseen hurts along the way. See men that may hurt you, and walk away from them. See friends who don't wish you well, and walk away from them. See what it is you want and walk up to it and find a way to get it.

I want you to see the choices before you and choose with gusto. See that there isn't always a RIGHT or a WRONG choice, but just a choice. Whatever choice you make, make it boldly and with zest. Be your own best advocate and not your own worst critic.

See in you what everyone else sees.

Love you,
Me

See?

Do you remember your sixteenth birthday? What advice would you give to your 16-year-old self?

Good Girl

We got Zion as a puppy from a farm about eight and a half years ago. She had the most incredible red brown coat, violet eyes, and an incredible demeanor. When my husband proposed to me just a few weeks later, he tied the engagement ring to her collar and cued her come out and lay her head in my lap.

Zion never barked, never nipped, never left the yard...She was a good hunter and a good friend.

Earlier today we had to put Zion down. She had been sick for a few months with a disease called autoimmune hemolytic anemia. She was treated with a several rounds of heavy steroids and antibiotics, but in the end, her body couldn't take it and she was suffering. She will be missed.

March Madness!

I know you probably clicked on this post thinking that I'd be jabbering on about my love for all things basketball; what with the tall guys, orange balls, and impossibly boring details to the game. Instead, you have to read about me waxing poetic about this, The Month of Birthdays, as it's known in our house.

March is the month where a full 3/5ths of our family gets another year older (if you're including the dog, which we had to this year, the proportion leaps to an astounding 2/3rds) in just two weeks. Insanity. The weeks go a little something like this:

1. Mmm...cake!
2. Mmmm...leftover cake
3. Fresh cake!
4. Uh....lots of leftover cake
5. Birthday party cupcakes (God, I hope I don't have to bring any of these home)
6. A cupcake is really pretty close to a pancake, it totally counts as breakfast 
7. Really? one more cake
8. Who the hell wants to eat cake?

But this year the birthdays had me all misty and doe-eyed. I'm not sure if it was the specific ages the boys were turning (5 and 3), or if it's knowing that we're all done having kids and there will be no babies to fill the crib once these kids grow up. And it's amazing how fast they are growing.

I don't know how we went from this...

..all the way to this.

But, God, how I love these little boys. Enough to bake cakes and cupcakes until I want to scream.





Come to think of it...there's not a whole lot I won't do for them.