Now We Are Six

When I was one,
I had just begun.

When I was two,
I was nearly new.

When I was three,
I was hardly me.

When I was four,
I was not much more.

When I was five,
I was just alive.

 But now I am six,

I am clever as clever.
So I think I'll be six
Now and forever.

Poem by A.A. Milne

Freeloaders



I'm not Alice!

Don't get me wrong. My kids are good kids. They are bright, kind, and, in general, happy. They are generous with each other and do well in school. They are also lazy little bastards! But their days of freeloading are over. That's right. Put a suit on and get a job, son!

Well, maybe I won't go quite that far. How about some simple chores? Sounds good to me. My kids have daily chores that are just assumed  of them. For example, make the bed, brush your teeth, pick up toys, etc. However, at nearly 6 and 4, I think that they are old enough to take more of an active role in keeping this house clean. I did not make this mess on my own; I will not clean it on my own.

So, today I made them (and you!) this handy little chore chart. You can download it as a PSD if you want to customize the colors or fonts or turn off the chevrons or add your kids' names or just as a PDF if you want to just write the squiddo's names on it. There is also a customizable chore list or a PDF of the chores. I plan on laminating mine, but didn't have immediate access to a laminator.

Time to get busy, slackers.

OK, edit the documents if you want or just print them out as is. You can print the chores onto magnet paper available at office supply stores, or you can make your own. Here's what I did:

Gather your supplies. Mod Podge, scissors, chore print out, paint brush, and an old magnet.
If you haven't got Mod Podge, you could just glue the paper on, but you risk the corners peeling up later.
Sometimes you have to take risks though.
I save the magnets that we get from stores, restaurants, and various other random places
and use them for projects like this.
Wash your magnet off for better adhesion.

Mod Podge those little chores on.
Let that dry.
Cut them out.

Affix to something to which magnets will stick. I put it on the fridge.
You could stick it on some metal and then frame it. That would be adorable.
I was too lazy.

And there you have it.
The baby can still freeload, I guess.
I almost didn't use these because you can see my kids' names. Try not to stalk us, OK?

A Case of Mistaken Identity

It's almost embarassing. I mean, it happens all the time. I'll be just walking along, or standing in line at the post office and it will happen. Someone always asks!

Here's what I look like before showering and without makeup. That's actually probably a pretty fair sampling of how I look most of the time. Sorry to those I encounter on a daily basis. And to the lady who just came to my door and caught me with a carrot juice mustache.

This is me in my readers.

So, you can understand why people might come up to me and say...

"I'm thirsty." I mean, the resemblance is uncanny.

I also get told, "I'm hungry." All the time.

And at least once a day, someone comes up to me with a yogurt lid or granola bar wrapper
having mistaken me for the picture above.

And, of course, anytime I sit down I am immediately mistaken for this.

In which I get on board with subway art

I know this post is a day late (and a dollar short, zing!). I apologize for the delay. Sike. I don't. I'm busy, and shit got in the way.

**********

It became pretty obvious to me last month during my zen challenge that I am not now, nor will I ever be "laid back." It just ain't my shtick. But, you know what is? OCD, making lists and charts, and my kids. So, this month I am going to cram all those things together in lots of fun little projects.

Here's the first one.

Maybe your mornings go a little like mine. The kids have school, yet are running around butt ass naked because they seem to be unable to comprehend that they need to get dressed EVERY SINGLE MORNING. So, as a helpful little reminder to them I've made these cute subway signs outlining our morning routine.

And the evening routine. Good night, sleep tight is supposed to be like the title. Does it look like I'm telling them to go to sleep and then do all the other shit?

After school special refers to their free time. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I printed those bad boys off and affixed them to a board and now they are waiting patiently to be hung in the kitchen. I'll update with a photo when they're done. And, because I love you and everyone loves printables I have them available for you to print. They are high resolution digital files. Do with them what you will. Rise and shine jpeg and Good night jpeg. Don't like the colors, wording or font? Tough shit. Just kidding. Here they are in a .psd. Rise and shine psd and Good night psd. Go nuts.

Week 8 Weigh-In: I barely make it out alive

This is my treadmill. That chick in the red workout bra and boxing gloves is my role model.
Is it weird that I stare at a bunch of hot chicks while I work out?

So, I gave up the scale this month. In the beginning of the month it was really hard; I wanted to get on the scale nearly every morning. I needed it to tell me that I was working hard enough; that what I was doing was right. Just any form of validation really.

Near the end of the month, I felt liberated by it. I measured how well I was doing by my ability to run another mile on the treadmill or by being able to fit into smaller jeans.I've done sit ups until my tailbone was raw and bleeding. My abs are looking pretty good for someone who had three kids in the last six years. I still wanted to know what the scale told me, but I was more satisfied without knowing than I had ever been before.

This morning was my weigh-in. I've been nervous about it for days. Did I do enough? Will I have any success at all? I've been tracking my calories out with a Body Bugg, and I've met or exceeded my need caloric burn nearly every day. I've also been tracking my calories in and I've done pretty well. Last weekend my mom was in town and we splurged, but nothing over the top. According to the Bugg, I should have lost between 7-8 pounds.

So imagine my surprise, nay shock, when in the pre-dawn hours this morning I stood naked and trembling (from cold y'all. My house is cold) and saw that I was down....two pounds. Now, my manfriend and my mom warned me that this scale read at least two pounds heavier  than my previous one. So, even if I give myself those two pounds that's still only a four pound weight loss in eight weeks.

Big sigh.

Maybe the real solution is to give up the scale for good and just go by how I feel. Because yesterday, I felt great...and today I feel like shit. All because of the scale.

From January first until today.

You can't really see it, but I have a little ab definition from this month's fab ab.

111 Days...

...until the kiddie pools open, ladies. Are you going to be rocking your bikini whilst you splash with Junior? Or are you going to wear your extra baggy track shorts and tank top? You decide.

I am going to be rocking a bikini, and I don't care if other moms give me the skank eye for wearing one. (I swear I won't wear a string bikini or anything ludicrous).

I'd really like a bikini that looks somewhat like Wonder Woman's costume. Because I'm pretty badass.

I still haven't weighed in, though it's getting harder to stay away. I am officially waiting until the 29th of February. I'm fitting into smaller jeans (although I might be slightly pouring myself into my favorite pair of them), and I feel fantastic. I'm only down a quarter inch from last week, but I'm up a mile from last month! Woot, woot!

Also, I've un-given up Diet Coke. I just like that shit too much. I couldn't lie to you. Well, I could lie to you because you wouldn't even know. But I respect you, so I'm not going to do that to you. I really didn't find it making a difference in my weight loss, and I missed it.

So, make your choice. You've still got time to rock it this summer.



Aebleskiver, or Tiny Balls of Delicious

Step inside. I'd like to introduce you to something special...

I bet you didn't know that I'm Danish.

That's because I'm not. My manfriend is, but I do enjoy a tasty little Danish breakfast called Aebleskiver.

Once a year at our church (and on other occasions for Sunday brunch if the kids can talk Gramma into making them), we celebrate...hmmm. I'm not sure what we celebrate other than eating the delicious Aebleskiver. I guess we're celebrating togetherness. And possibly fat pants. Anyhoo, it's a great tradition and it is an awesome fundraiser for the church.

Aebleskiver Fest is just around the corner, and I intend to woo you with tales of delight.

You start with a hot, greased Aebleskiver pan. Ours is from a hardware store, but Williams Sonoma
has a ridiculously priced version of it here. They even have an electric version!

You add buttermilk. That makes it super yum.

There are meringued eggs.

Keep the squids busy.

We had two pans going because we're hardcore. At church they have a million going. No less than 10 anyway.

There's a knack to the cooking. William's Sonoma sells a fancy turner. This is a pickle fork.
We've used a coat hanger in a pinch.

Serve with sausage,

homemade applesauce and grape juice,

and cheese. The cheese flower is optional.

and enjoy. I didn't get too many eating action shots because, well, I was eating.

Not up to making Aebleskivers? No worries. You can come to Aebleskiver Fest, February 25th and get your eat on.