Monday, January 30, 2012

Weigh-In Week 4

This is what he's saying to me as  I run on the treadmill.
I've been pumping it in my living room, running on my treadmill, lifting weights, and contemplating my zenness in yoga allllllll month. Six days a week for four weeks and I'm ready to see some results.

This morning I got on the scale and pound. But not one pound down. One pound up. FROM WHERE I FUCKING STARTED. Math may not be my best subject, but I know that aint what you want to see. Those of you can do math (and possibly who are women) also realize that four weeks from my PMS-y rant last month would lead me right to the same spot this month in my cycle. So, it's possible  that this is water weight. It's also possible that I have bad karma and Jesus hates me. OR maybe, and maybe guys this is what Diet Coke should start advertising...if you stop drinking Coke, you'll gain weight. I can see their new ads now. (BTW, I totally don't have any DC cravings now. It only took a week)

I do still have those baseline measurements to rely on, so here we go...

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Right arm
Left arm
Left thigh
Right thigh

I've lost eight inches, but gained a pound. That's pretty demoralizing, but instead of letting that stupid pound break me down, it is motivating the hell out of me. I just banged out 50 minutes on the dreadmill and ate a ridiculously healthy breakfast and lunch. While this post technically ends my Be Inspired by Kendra month, I am going to continue on this fitness journey that I have started, and I hope all of you will keep at it with me. Starting the first of February, I'll have a new Be Inspired topic, but I will keep checking in with my weight loss progress (or lack there of) too.

And because I promised them to you, here are my progress pictures. You're welcome.
I cut bangs and changed the white balance on my camera,
but otherwise I'm pretty much in the same spot living room-wise.

I can feel the most difference in my muffin top, butt, and saddle bag area.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Few Updates

Soooo. It's been four days, and I'd pretty much kill a monkey for a Diet Coke. And then I'd skin it and give it to my mom as an offering of how much I love her. Because she has some deep seated hatred for monkeys. No idea why. I'm glad it's not hereditary, because aside for my aforementioned desire to kill one for a Diet Coke, I actually think they're kind of cute. I love it when they ring the bell at the zoo and throw their fecal matter.

Anyway. I would really like a coke, but I've done well and have not succumbed to the desire. I also have not lost any damn weight either. In fact, this morning I was up a pound. I'm almost ready to smash the scale to tiny, tiny pieces but that would mean A. I'd have to clean that mess up. B. Glass shards everywhere. C. I'd just have to go buy a new scale because I love/hate to weigh myself.

Also, a few of you suggested that I ask my manfriend to be my ass measuring device re: my shrinking ass. He was very excited about that new job offer and is hoping that there's some sort of official T-shirt proclaiming his new status. I haven't come up with anything very witty to put on it yet. I'm open to suggestions.

My husband also suggested that I could measure my success by "how well your jeans fit." He then turned and looked at me in disgust and said, "But you've just been wearing those all day," somehow implying that my yoga pants were less of a real pant than my jeans are. It's not like I wear them ALL day. I just usually change out of my "fancy going out clothes" i.e. hand-me-down jeans with holes in the knees into my yoga pants at exercise time/nap time. And then maybe sometimes I wear them for the rest of the day. But that's totally normal. Right?

That's it for now.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Mango Sunrise Smoothie Recipe

My family loves smoothies. I make them all the time and stick random ingredients in them that my children wouldn't otherwise eat. Like mango. Thing 1 is super picky, and Thing 2 is quickly following in his footsteps, so I have to trick them into eating nutritious things. Thank the lord the baby still eats everything put in front of her or I might snap. Hell, I still probably will snap.
It was a hit. Thing 1 especially liked it because it was a very smooth consistency.
Your ingredients. Use frozen fruit to avoid the need to add ice. I buy frozen fruit whenever it's on sale
and just cram it in my freezer.
2 C orange juice
2 C frozen mangoes
1 C frozen peaches
1 C yogurt. I prefer Dannon Light & Fit because it's low in calories and tastes like vanilla ice cream.
*optional: sometimes I add a heaping T of soy protein powder in. We are out, so I did not add any.

Blend that shit together until you get this swirling vortex of goodness:
That's the swirling vortex. You  may need to stop and push things around a little bit, but this
is how you know everything is well blended.

Oh, and if you share this between four glasses (about 12 ounces per glass) each serving is just 162.5 calories. Not bad.

***********Diet Coke Update*******************
OK, giving up Diet Coke isn't ridiculously bad (so far). I'm pretty tired, but I blame it more on an amazing stomach bug that's powering through my lower GI track than the lack of DC. I also blame it on my husband, but that's just par for the course around here.

I am not suffering any withdrawal symptoms, other than salivating like a Pavlovian dog anytime I think about the sweet aroma of a freshly opened Diet Coke.

Also, the baby has somehow learned to say, "Coke." I know she did it to mock me.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Week 3 Weigh-In

This is me after a good workout.
Just kidding. I actually don't sweat much. I just turn bright red and look like I'm dying.
I've actually had people stop me when I'm out running and ask if I'm OK.
It's kind of embarassing.
So, it's Monday. You know what that means right? Shitty TV night! I kid, I kid. Sort of.

Of course it's weigh-in day. How are you doing? I wish that I wouldn't have made weigh-in day on a Monday because the nagging thought of weigh-in day made it hard to totally get hammered at the bar with my sister for her fortieth birthday (but somehow I managed).

This morning I was down two pounds! Woot, woot! Well, maybe just one woot. Because it has been three weeks after all and I'm only down two pounds. But I'll take what I can get. I also lost another inch off my hip region, which is pretty rad. I wonder if there's a way to measure one's ass? Because I totally feel like that's gotten smaller.

I've got one more week on this crazy train of fitness until I tackle another goal (but I'm not giving up on being a hot bod by this summer). I'm going to step it up a level by doing something that reports have said help you lose weight: stop drinking diet soda. OMG. I can't believe I said that out loud. Well typed it.

Caffeine is not a huge draw for me; I only have two diet sodas a day. But the ritual of allowing myself two tasty little carbonated treats is something that I like. The sharp crack and soft fizz of opening the can. The sweet syrupy flavor. That I don't have to share it with my many things. Therefore, I saved giving it up for the last week of the month! Hey, I'm no glutton and I make no guarantees that this portion of my fitness overhaul will stick around. Unless I somehow lose 5 pounds or something. And then Diet Coke can totally get bent.

Also, be prepared this week to be amazed by some delicious smoothie recipes. I'm making my family be taste test guinea pigs and will provide you with recipes for their favorites. Because I love you. And smoothies.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Vegetarian "Crab" Rangoons

Nom, nom, nom
I heart crab Rangoons. The friedness. The cream cheese. The duck sauce. Only one problem. The crab :(
Are you a sad vegetarian who can't eat delicious crab Rangoons? Turn that frown upside down my little plant consumer. Because I have brought to you a very special recipe for vegetarian crab Rangoons. Well, there's not any crab of course, but Rangoon just sounds silly. If you say it enough, it loses all meaning. Rangoon, Rangoon, Rangoon, Rangoon. Poof. Gone.

Anyway. I totally digress. Here's what you need:

I didn't have any "regular" carrots, so I used 3 baby carrots.
  • 1 package refrigerated won tons. I found mine by the tofu.
  • 1 8 ounce package of cream cheese, room temp. (You could substitute a lower fat version if you'd like, but it doesn't cook up as nice)
  • 1 carrot, shredded
  • 1 T minced garlic (alternately two cloves garlic finely minced)
  • 1 small onion, grated
  • 1 T soy sauce or tamari
  • 1/2 T oil
  • a little bit of water in a bowl or cup or some sort of water holding vessel
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Mix all your ingredients together to create the filling.
Mix, mix, mix.
Lay out one won ton wrapper and add one teaspoon of filling in the center of wrapper. Moisten the outer edges of the won ton square with water (I just dipped my finger in the water). This helps the wrapper form a nice seal. Fold the won ton wrapper closed, creating a triangle. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Arrange those bad boys on a cookie sheet and brush with oil. I used safflower oil, but you can use whatever you have on hand.
I hate my pink counter tops.
Cook for 12-15 minutes or until lightly browned. Serve with whatever you like to dip in. I like the tiny packets of duck sauce that comes when you order Chinese food. And if that shit has actual ducks in it, I don't want to know. M'kay?

And, because I love you, and I needed to be able to record my calories on my daily intake log, I figured that out for you (me). Assuming you followed the directions above and created 26 Rangoons as I did (two were not pictured above) then each "crab" Rangoon has approximately 38.5 calories. Eat a bunch.

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's just water weight

I'm picturing Ryan Gosling saying this to me.

It's week two weigh-in day, and as I painstakingly lowered myself onto my scale inch by inch while holding myself up by my shower curtain rod hoping that would magically make me weigh less my hopes were high. I though, "Ooooh, I wonder where I'm at. Maybe two pounds?!?"  But then my hopes were dashed to the ground by one pound. But one pound in the WRONG direction! That's right. I gained that damn pound back that I worked so hard to lose last week. I ran to my tape measure and quickly measured, and then REmeasured. Nada. Nothing. Not a pound, not an inch. Sob.

I've been a good little Kendra-ite. I exercised six times last week, and on my "rest" day, I took the monsters sledding, which is practically an aerobic workout with Jillian Michaels. I ate fairly well, although yesterday's Packer game smorgasbord did have me eating a few too many snacks, but nothing outrageous.

My super awesome online friends boosted me up telling me that it's the second week plateau like on The Biggest Loser, that my body is building muscle, I'm retaining water to repair the muscle that I'm brutalizing every day...yada, yada, yada. God, I love those women!

Then, the day continued to get worse. On my way to the grocery store, I was attempting to drink my frozen Diet Coke (I had forgot the Coke in the trunk of my van the night prior). I says to myself, "Self, you know what would thaw this Diet Coke right away? Put it between your thighs. Nice and warm there!" So I listen to myself (big mistake), and as my Diet Coke begins to thaw, it overflows soaking my ass and thighs in Diet Coke. Sigh. As I'm walking through Woodmans with people silently judging me and my wet crotch and butt region, I decide to stop being sad and start being awesome.
Pinned Image

This second week plateau can kiss my ass. Now, I'm going to put my crabby baby down for a nap, feed the pre-schooler, and lace up my running shoes.

How's week two treating you? Are you up? Down? All around?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Slump (AKA Motivation Part Deux)

Pinned Image

I've been feeling a little slumpy today. I weighed myself (why?!?), and the scale isn't moving despite my eating right and exercising everyday. That kind of shit makes a girl want to sit on the couch, eat Doritos, and watch the Kardashians. I should really just hide the thing until weigh-in day. But I won't.

Are you feeling the slumpy? Maybe not today, but possibly tomorrow.

In preparation for those days, here's a list of things people have said to me, or to some of my friends that might get your blood boiling enough to Pump It (well, if you're doing Turbo Jam in your living room. You can get your blood boiling enough to do whatever it is you are doing). Sometimes, I have a running playlist of some of these sayings in order to get me through my workout.

  • I'm just naturally thin.
  • You have bigger bones than me.
  • Are you pregnant (or alternately, when are you due?)
  • Have you gained weight?
  • You look tired.
  • Are you sure you want to eat that?
  • I usually date thinner girls.
  • You must be the smart sister.
  • Men must like your big boobs!
  • I wonder if they have this in a size 0.
Feel free to leave a comment to add your "favorite" thing somebody has said to you.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Self-Image can self-destruct

Pinned Image

When I was in college, I was heavy. Probably pushing 190, although I stopped getting on the scale once I saw 180. I've lost and gained weight in the (holy crap) 10 years since graduating college. Even when I was at my lowest weight of 115 pounds, I looked in the mirror and saw that fat girl. Maybe my hips were a little too wide, maybe my thighs weren't as toned as I would like; it didn't really matter what my body actually looked like. I was going to find that fat girl inside of me no matter what.

I'm still doing it. I'm not looking in the mirror and celebrating my successes from last week, instead I'm beating myself up because of what I didn't accomplish last week. I didn't lose enough, I'm all sorts of jiggly, etc. When my manfriend tells me that I look hot, or he loves the shape of my leg, arm, face, whatever (He really loves everything about me. Except maybe my nagging!), I hear him, but I don't listen. I know that I'm not the only person who does this.

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see the gentle slope of your belly from having your children? Do you see your slightly less than perky breasts that you used to feed your baby? Do you see flabby upper arms that are strong and get you through your day? Do you tell yourself when I lose 5 pounds I can wear that shirt, or if I lose 10 pounds I'll finally look "good"?

This week, on top of trying to work out and be fit, I am also going to try to love me a little more. Accept those compliments from my husband. Be proud of what I'm doing.

Do you need help with your self-image? Here's a very helpful website. You can plug in your weight and height and other measurements and see what other women your shape and size look like. I guarantee you that you will be surprised.

Homework (optional, I'm not here to make you do anything that you don't want to do):
Find 5 things that you like about your body. It can be as small as your eyes or your hair for now. As you progress in your fitness journey, you'll add to the list.
Here's mine:
  1. I like my eye color.
  2. I have nice hair.
  3. I've got a pretty nice rack.
  4. My biceps are strong and shapely.
  5. Um...I think my feet are cute (my mom would probably beg to differ here and point out my hammer toes, but whatevs. I likes what I likes).

Monday, January 9, 2012

How YOU Doin'?

Could you hear me talking like Joey in the title? How you doin'? Because you looking fly after one week on the Kendra lifestyle change.

I got on the scale this morning (butt naked, after pooping, and prior to eating) and I had lost (drum roll please........) one pound. Mother f@#$er. I was hoping for some sort of Biggest Loser miracle where I lose 9 pounds in a week. Doesn't that piss you off when those people are like, "Oh. 9 pounds. I was hoping for 15." Really? Really. I would have to cut off an arm to lose 15 pounds. Nevertheless, I am familiar with my body and its inability to lose weight quickly, which is why I took those baseline measurements. I whipped out my trusty measuring tape and here are my results:

Week One
Right arm
Left arm
Left thigh
Right thigh

So, overall I've lost 4.5 inches. Not too shabby. Don't have a measuring tape you say? Why, no problem. Print out this one.

What's the plan for week two?

  • Continue eating healthy and recording your food on the printable sheets available here. Make sure you write everything down. No cheating.  
  • If you have problems with portion control try measuring your food. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Does it work? Yes. It doesn't take very long measuring your food out before you get the feel for what a 1/2 cup of rice looks like (or 1/2 c of ice cream).
  • Continue exercising. If you haven't been exercising, you're a big ol' slacker. Just kidding. Try to add in some exercise. I've been pumpin' it to some sweet Turbo Jam in my living room at naptime or running on my badass 1980s treadmill that has two speeds; slow and oh my god.
  • I'm going to be adding this weight loss drink that Dr. Oz mentioned on his show and has subsequently been pinned and repinned on pinterest. (no pinterest?  WTF? Are you living in the dark ages? Leave me your email, and I'll totally send you an invite. Here's the recipe.
    It's basically green tea, tangerines, and mint. It sounds delicious and maybe it will replace my eight fizzy waters a day habit. But probably not. I love me some fizzy water.
And as a special Thank you for following along, I've made you all your own hot body motivation poster. Just print it out and add your own beautiful little face in the circle. My sister put hers on her refrigerator, but you can do whatever with it. Just don't sell it or something because I don't know who that chick is, but I don't want to meet her in a dark alley. She looks like she could totally kick my ass. Although, I am a bit of a scrapper.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


If you started when I did, you're four days into your new, clean living and exercise regime. Are you having fun? I'm doing OK. I've exercised every day (yay for me), and I have been eating right. I'm not officially going to weigh-in until seven days have passed, but I know that the scale hasn't moved because I obsessively weigh myself before bedtime and every morning (naked, after I poop, before I eat).


But I'm not giving up. Maybe you need some more motivation too? How's this for inspiring?

That's what I'm going to be look like after the Dirty Girl this summer. Well, my breasts
will be slightly lower and will look like empty milk bags,
but you get the idea.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Weight Loss Tools

this is from pinterest yo. you should check it out.

OK. It looks like I've got a lot of people aboard this train with me for this month's Be Inspired goal of being more fit a la Kendra. I've gotten some questions about what I'm doing, so I wanted to share with you some of the tools that I am using this month to help me monitor what I'm doing.

For starters, you need some sort of benchmark of your weight and/or measurements. I'll share with you my weight (but be nice because I totally just got my period and a bitch will cut you)...140. I am also doing measurements because my body likes to lie to me about my progress, and my weight loss tends to be pretty slow. So, I recorded my starting measurements at my waist, hips (which I measured at 9 inches below my belly button), right and left arm, and right and left thigh. Some people would throw bust measurement in there but I don't really care about that. If you do, go ahead and add it.

Next, you need to figure out how many calories a day you can consume at your current weight to maintain. Here is a calculator: Plug your crap in there to figure out your Basal Metabolic Rate (or BMR). Then click the Daily Calorie Needs hyperlink to figure out what you need to consume to maintain. This will give you a formula based on your activity level.

So, for me weighing in in the welter weight class at 140, my BMR 1428.5. I am planning on being moderately active, and exercising 3-5 times a week, so I multiply 1428.5 x 1.55 to get 2214.175. I'm just going to round that down to 2214.

Are you with me so far? Next, we need to figure out a deficit. Experts say that a pound is 3500 calories, so in order to burn one pound a week, you need to create a deficit of 500 calories a day. For my example above, I should consume 1714 calories. I'd like my weight loss to progress a little faster than that, so I am shooting for a deficit of 750 calories per day or 1464 calories per day. Super duper.

So what do you do with all that information? Well you write it down goofball.

I am using this calorie tracking chart that I downloaded from here Print out a bunch or make copies or something. And then fill it in. Every day, everything you eat. And drink, because margaritas ain't free to buy and they ain't free for calories either. Damn. You should also record your water consumption (drink so much that you pee all the time) and exercise (until you're weak).

If you need more help with that last chart, let me know and I will make fun of you provide an example for you of one that I filled out.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Come on ride the train

It's a new year and everyone is coming up with resolutions. I'm no different; there are literally thousands of things I'd like to change about myself and my life this year. Wow, that sounds bad. I'm not horrible and my self esteem isn't totally for crap, but lately I've found myself feeling...blah. So my goal this year is to be inspired.

Every month I am going to focus on a different aspect of my life that I'd like to change by focusing on something or someone that inspires me. Hopefully, whatever I've worked on the previous month will stick with me and at the end of the year, I'll be ringing in a 2013 with a whole new rockin' self.

Let's get started, shall we? And when I say, "we" I mean "I." Although if you want to join me on this little voyage of self-discovery and improvement, hop on board the train.

This month, I am going to take my inspiration from a friend of mine, Kendra Z. Kendra is an amazing woman who, a little over a year ago, decided to make a change. She was 221 pounds, unhealthy and unhappy. She began her fitness journey with baby steps; running for one minute on the treadmill, then two, then three, and so on and so forth until she completed her first 5k. And then a 10k, and a 15k, a half marathon, and finally a marathon! This year, she is training to participate in her first triathlon and half Ironman. She is rockin' her hot new size 6 body and inspiring those around her every day, including me.

And did I mention she gets up and does that shit at like 5:00 in the morning? That's ridiculous. inspiring. Kendra makes time for Kendra, something that I always have a hard time with. I let kids and cleaning (and maybe Facebook) get in my way too often.

So Kendra, this month I am going to try like hell to be more like you. Take/make the time that I need, ask for support, and live clean. Baby steps, right? Today I worked out in my living room (one point for me) and ate an awesome breakfast and lunch (yes! two points). I did eat some chex mix for a snack (damn New Year's Eve food still hanging around. Minus one point), but only half a cup.

OMG. I don't even want to finish this post because I'm going to include a before picture for extra motivation. Look away. Avert your eyes. Hide the children.
Le sigh.
The red marks on my stomach are from me scratching myself. I get itchy when I exercise.
It's like I'm allergic to it.